lifeless corpses scatter the battlefield. the brown earth has tuned to the color of blood. the sky has turned black, still the battle wages on.

horrified to see our own soldiers turning on themselves, dismembering each other, the brutality of the attack. unmatched hate, settling for nothing less than the most painful way to kill.

open your eyes, cant you see what you are doing? you say you are one of the elect, but you have no love for one another. this is not how it is to be done, cant you see the damage you've caused. does that not bother you, the blood on your hands?

my Father said "they will know you are Mine if you have love for one another" decide who you stand with. the judgment is coming and you will be dealt with. the choice is yours, will you live, or be one of the corpses?

                                                        jeremy may 15 2008

i hate you, this being i fail to put to death. you take everything from me, my love, my faith, my strength. you smell of death, and are full of hate. your happiness guides your every action.

you care for nothing, and no one but yourself. you do not love only hate. you live for nothing and will die for the same.

yes, i hate you, i am weak, not dead. i may be losing but i have not lost. i hate you, and will conquer you.

                                               for you, you are me
[Colossians 3]
                                               jeremy may 10 2008

 i've grown tired of this life, this world, i don't belong here. the pain i feel does not fade, the brokenness simply will not mend. the struggle never gets easier, only harder.

how long must i stay here, how long must i feel this pain? my strength is gone, i don't want to feel anymore. i don't want to be here, this is not my home.

i'm losing the will to fight this, i am losing this. so i cry how long o Lord, i long to see Your face.

                                              jeremy may 10 2008